Trust

Trust is a really hard thing for us humans. We like to drive, we like to be in control.

Jeremy and I stepped out in trust when we started this local theatre, and we think it will survive the summer. We trust it will survive. Now is where the trust comes into play. Not just saying the word trust, but acting the word trust. There is a HUGE step between saying "Jesus I trust in you" and living "Jesus I trust in you."

Now is where the rubber hits the road.

Now we get into the nitty gritty day to day even minute to minute mental battle of trust. I'm certain anyone reading this knows what I am talking about. It's human, we struggle. Its so easy for people to say, 'just let it go' or 'it will all work out' or 'it's going to be ok' when in the present situation you feel desperate.

It is during these times when I lean heavily on my past experiences. I have a catalog, in my head, of feelings, emotions, and experiences. When I am struggling with trust I scan through my memory catalog and select instances when things worked out. The key is to select the times when things did work out. I equate what I went through with what I am going through and rationalize that this situation, these feelings, will also truly work out.

When I have an experience that did not work out, I category it as 'did not work out as I had planned.' I can often easily come up with a positive to the scenario and I can then also use these memories as encouraging instances. I try to make a point to make all my memories positive and learn from. It just seems like the most logical thing to do and most of all - IT WORKS!

Once I comfort myself with the truth, my past experiences, which are often steeped in faith and God, I can then, and only then step back and let go and trust. It is still a practice and it does still require energy which is why I call it a battle, but end result is usually the goal.

Jesus I trust in You. You are God, and you are my best friend. You clothe me better than even the flowers in the field.

Your ways Lord and not mine.

Sarah, your daughter.