Two easier than one?

Ok, so I have been considering the possibility that two kids might be easier than just one.

Now don't hold this against me when you see me pulling my hair out in the grocery store or lamenting I can't get out of the house without a child on my arm. Keep in mind you are reading a post from a sleep deprived mother who spends her days in a whirlwind of soothing tears, cleaning up spilled milk, or trying to balance being a calm soothing source to her almost asleep baby while firmly placing the two year old in a time out for hitting.

So, does it SOUND easier??

Should I elaborate?

See, I'm kind of a "go go" kind of person. I like adrenaline. I LOVE and thrive on busy. Busy, I love! (Now don't judge me when I say, can't I TAKE A BREAK and just RELAX!!!! Schizophrenic - maybe. I'm a woman I can have intense conflicting views without being crazy, its allowed - even, dare I say - expected?)

With one child I teeter between mental stimulation and boredom which causes exhaustion. For example...

Crying baby. Trying to soothe. Rocking. Swinging. Feeding. Mental brain slowening.

Bring in child number two...

Toddler finds it absolutely hilarious when  I knock him over while doing lunges to soothe crying baby. Knocking over toddler and listening to him laugh hysterically distracts me from the tedious soothing monotony.  And then all of a sudden the baby is sleeping without me even focusing on it and my toddler is having a blast and my brain has not numbed itself. You see when the numbing happens that's when you feel sleepy... SO sleepy. But you keep going and jumping from one adrenaline high to the next and you are flying!

After naps I fill Augustine's cup and have a snack ready in case Gianna is fussy and I can't retrieve said items while my toddler desperately pleads as if he has been starved through the dessert for 40 days. I do NOT exaggerate. My mind is kept alert and about 5 steps ahead.... will they need a snack? Are his shoes in an accessible area to quickly put on? Is the car prepped for a last minute outing to the park in case said toddler pleads for the park like his life depended on swinging through the air in a black rubber diaper swing. An alert mind is good for my mental health.

Don't get me wrong, I am exhausted at the end of the day but not like I was with just one child. Is that weird or what?? I LOVE having two kids it is invigorating! I mean if I'm going to be sitting and reading a book to toddler than why not be nursing baby too? If I'm going to be a bump on a log at the park watching my Toddler play why not strap on a newborn and see how well I can juggle the two?

I guess the moral of the story is, I do like a challenge, and so that is why having two kids is (mostly) easier than just having one. And maybe the word isn't easier but rather.... BETTER!

I am really blessed, I have an awesome job that challenges me and it is better and it is making me better.

Sibling Love

"The best gift you can give your child is a sibling"

This has been one of the most precious things for me to see as a parent. Augustine loves his little sister as I would imagine and hope that every big brother would. There is something sweet and mature about his love for Gianna and I can just imagine him being that awesome big brother that sticks up for his sister, enjoys a friendship with her and all the while threatens her prospective boy friends with, "Hurt her and you will hurt." You know the big brother stuff. :-)

I will forever remember Augustine bounding into the hospital room with exuberant energy and joy excited to see me and his eyes lit up when he saw - "Baby Gianna!"

He so tenderly kissed and hugged her and pointed to her "eyes" and "nose" and "mouth."

This picture melts my heart...

He so sweetly gazes at her as if it is love at first sight just like it was for me. He hated to leave without Mommy and Baby and Gianna when  it was time to go... and it was hard for me to see my, now old, little baby say goodbye. How does it work to love two little beings so fully and so differently? To say goodbye to the days when Augustine was my only baby to cuddle ...

...and to greet the days when my arms would long to hold both my children for hours... all the while staring down those dreaded dirty dishes and unswept floors that threatened to take my arms away from what they really wanted. The love grows but so do the chores... the diapers, the dirt, the mess, the clothes. I only loath them for the reason they take me from my babies.

The first day home with Gianna Augustine was overtired and threw lots of tantrums because he wanted to hold, "my baby" all the time. He was loving but it was exhausting. Since then he has calmed down a bit but still cries for her at bedtime when they are separated and asks for her immediately when he wakes from nap or bedtime.

When I try to have time just for me and Augustine, he begs for Gianna to join us. He wants to share his toys, books, and time with her. That touches my heart so very much!

When Gianna cries he will usually stop what he is doing and calmly go straight to her to give her a gentle kiss on the head... he then goes back to playing. He loves to do Tummy Time with her and he will even wipe her spit-up away unprompted. One day we were watching Sesame Street together while I nursed Gianna. Well, Augustine watched Elmo... I watched my precious gifts. Augustine turned from his show and gazed at Gianna sweetly and patted her on the head.... and back to watching his show. This moment replays in my mind often... it was as if he wants to assure his little sister, "I'm here for you, I love you." Am I reading too far into the mind of a two year old? Not with moments like these. They are two peas in a pod and I am one proud gardener.

Oh that your love for each other will grow. I pray you always find a friend in each other, that you protect and love each other and that... Gianna's little head doesn't get trampled by your eager feet.

Gianna Rae Ann Stanbary - is born!

I feel like I have so much catching up to do... and yet it has only been 2 weeks!

Gianna Rae Ann my beautiful daughter whom I have long waited to see was born, just as her brother was, smack dab on her due date, April 28th 2012, at 8lbs 3oz and 19in. Which, of course, was also the feast day of St. Gianna! What a divinely planned arrival.

I will write a post on her birth story... but for now I want to write about this beautiful little person that has entered my life in such a special way.

I've always known based on my wonderful experience carrying this little beauty that she was gentle on her mommy. I hoped this would also be the case after birth. Ive heard many stories about how the "second child" is the hard one, so I was a bit curious.

Well, Gianna, you are a sweet and beautiful soul. You entered the world without crying, in about 5 min of pushing, and you nestled on me and started nursing-- what a breeze! You were healthy and peaceful. Even now as I hold you in my arms there is a special gentleness to your soul, to your spirit. Many people say that is a newborn trait... but, in you, I feel something different... in your spirit. The last two weeks have not proven me wrong. You nurse perfectly, cry and fuss very little, once your need is met you are content. The second night home from the hospital you slept 5 hrs straight and the next night 6 hrs straight.

You go to bed early (around the same time as your brother).

You nap when it is most convenient for me...

...and you even smile on Mother's Day for me!

Oh, how you melt my heart and fill me with so much love!

8 1/2 Months

I turned 34 wks pregnant on St. Patrick's Day so I'm trying to wear green... its not the most green outfit... but thought I did pretty well considering my limited wardrobe and the warm record breaking weather we've been having. I pulled out my summer shorts and love that they all still fit, sweet!

Today I had my 34 wk Doctors appointment and all went well! I have a LOT of contractions... did with Augustine too so its never a big concern. However, when my Doctor asked if I have five in an hour I said I was pretty sure I do... So she wanted to check things out to see if they were effecting anything. Turns out they were but she wasn't to concerned. I'd share more but I feel that's a bit TMI. I just feel SO great that I was kind of amazed my body was gearing up for baby to come. With Augustine I felt like he could drop right out he was so low and SO SO SO heavy!

At nine months I'm going to do a bump line up of pictures to see the changes. I only gained one pound from my last pictures at 8 months so I'm not sure if there is a visible change or not.... I am feeling bigger though!

I wish I had more energy to post more... but with the weather I have been going to the park a LOT (often twice a day) with Augustine and by the time he crashes I'm just not in the mood to write... Part of going to the park includes walking to the park or often being "horsey" while Augustine rides to the park on my back. I can't help but picture how funny we look. A 30 pound toddler on my back, the  baby bump on the front and a 6lb purse dangling from my shoulder. I'm in WAY better shape this pregnancy than last I can tell you that much!

Happy St. Patrick's Day and The feast of St. Joseph!

To celebrate I ate 3 bowls of mint ice cream! (I gave up sweets for lent so I'm splurging... just a little. ;-)

8 months and growing...

Yes, that bump is growing!

I've been feeling so good that I hardly notice the bump until I look down...

 or see my reflection...

 or notice strangers going out of their way to help. I'm so distracted at chasing Augustine around that I don't have time to realize it. It was funny, today when I pulled Augustine out of his swing at the park, his boots fell off and a lady sitting nearby rushed over to help pick up his shoe. I was so surprised at her reaction... as I quickly thanked her and said I was fine, while crouching down with Augustine sitting on my knees as I balanced to put on his boots. It was only after I saw my reflection in the windows at the library that I realized how pregnant I look and how obvious it is to people! Duh!

When I was pregnant with Augustine it was the exact opposite. I wanted people to have sympathy on me, so bad, because I was in such excruciating pain and I felt so so so uncomfortable!! I wanted everyone to walk really slow with me or, heck, just carry me! I longed for closer parking spots and reflected on getting a "handicap sign" for my car. I felt like crying if I had to get off the couch and walk across the room. I'm not being a baby, I was really in THAT much pain. I can't thank God enough for the blessing of this pregnancy and how great I feel!

My 8 month check-up went smoothly, and baby is in position and I am measuring perfect. All is good. I've gained 16lbs so far which, despite my ever growing bump, seems low for me. I'm happy. We are healthy. All is really great!

7 1/2 Month Baby Bump

I'm not sure posting a pic every two weeks does much. However, since I started so late, if I did one every month... I'd have two pictures!

I finally broke down and bought my first pair of maternity jeans (not shown) last week. They leave a LOT to be desired and are not quite my usual style or taste but constantly trying to keep pants on my waste and chasing Augustine was leaving me feeling more like a punk kid who can't keep his pants on his hips. So maternity jeans it is.

I will actually be posting 8 month pictures on SATURDAY (in like 3 days!). WOW! While I am still feeling great I am SO excited to meet this little darling girl who has been so gentle to her mommy this pregnancy. I'm hoping she will be as easy as she has been in the womb... but I don't have too much longer to find out! Hurray!

7 Month Bump and Update

...and this is baby bump for month 7...

(Notice the cutie pie in the mirror, the little short one in the white onesie, he wanted in on the picture and pretty much stole the show. :-)

This picture was taken less then 10 minutes from him.... hurling, tossing his "cookies"... you get the point... We have spent the last couple days recovering and he seems to be back to his normal silly self plus a cough. His latest cute word/phrase is "more?" "more please?"... he says it in a very sweet gentle question style way... It's not that demanding - "More!" You usually get from kids. It's definitely a question. Subtext: "What do you think if I had a little more mom?" So darn cute!

Gianna is spending her time being VERY VERY active and keeping me awake many a night. She is quite the mover and shaker and is already practicing her dance moves. I look forward to teaching my little "couple" to Ballroom Dance as soon as I can - Oh, how cute! :-)

Besides the sleepless nights, I have been feeling REALLY good. Praise God!

My next post is going to be on our upcoming show Edith Stein-- THIS SHOW IS GOING TO BE AMAZING! I know I always kind of say that but, wow, we have some really rock solid actors in this show and the story is incredibly inspiring and moving.

Oh, yeah and in preparation for my Glucose test tomorrow (take 2 since I threw the 2 hr one up - ug) I am eating freshly made cookies. If I do have gestational diabetes I am going to be going through MAJOR sugar withdrawal. (I don't think I have GD but my doctor seems concerned because I have had a big baby.)

6 1/2 Month Baby Bump

Ok, so this is not going to be a long post... but I am a fan of "baby bumps" and I have been enjoying mine lately... However, I find it incredibly awkward to ask (even my husband) to take a picture of me. I don't know why... it feels... vain? Awkward? So please excuse the dramatic pose. I thought it better to look down than arching my head to see my phone. I mostly post this for my own sake and records because this blog has a nice way of organizing my life better than my scattered pictures. I always meant to take a pic every month and document it... but hence the awkward, who takes the picture thing it has never happened. I am going to try to add a picture each month (and/or half month) just for fun.

The thing with baby bumps is that its the one time in life when a woman's belly hanging out is, dare I say... CUTE! It also makes my wardrobe... dare I say, new? Exciting!? I still have clothes I wore in high school, that fit, so when my body changes its kind of fun (for the time) to ignore the scale and watch that bump grow!

My one hang up... that bothers me really is... I wonder if people question my professionalism when I am pregnant. When it comes to work do people think less of me when I am pregnant? Particularly when its a role of leadership? I'm not saying I feel less capable and I know most mothers are the BEST leaders... I don't know... For example, I taught Ballroom Dance at a large event in St. Paul a couple weeks ago and tried to look the least pregnant I possibly could. Am I weird in thinking people may think me "weak" or less capable when pregnant? In fact, I am truly more capable. I can grow a baby while teaching dance! Ha! - Take that MULTI-TASKING!

I guess its that conflict of heavenly purpose colliding with the worlds view of real value. I'll take the heavenly purpose, God willing!

Its a lion, its a bear its a GIRL!!

Yes, this Stanbary family is going to be blessed with a bundle of girl joy in April.

If she is as punctual as her brother she is due to arrive April 28th the feast of St. Gianna. It also, just so happens that Gianna is our top girl name choice so I can't help but feel that God's hand is especially blessing this baby and pregnancy! Of course He blesses all but I love God-incidences and this certainly is one of those.

We had our 20 wk ultra sound and everything looked normal. Gianna was pretty curled up though so although we saw some fun images I can't say we got any great pictures. Sorry baby girl! I may get some free 3D ultra sound pictures coming in the next few weeks so here is hoping we get some better shots!

Jeremy and I were pretty excited about the new thoughts of a baby girl entering our world and filling our hearts with that special feminine touch that girls can bring! Augustine seems to be enjoying his "I'm a big brother" book and cuddles with the baby in the book. He even will sing to the baby in the book as it mentions the big brother does. I'm so excited for him to meet Gianna since he seems to have had a special affinity for babies (and little girls) for some time. He is going to be such an awesome "big brother"!

St. Gianna, pray for us!

Augustine and Baby in their 20s...

Its just a coincidence, I suppose, but Augustine is 20 months old and our new baby is 20 weeks old (in the womb).

I haven't posted a picture of Augustine in a while and as I flipped through Jeremy's pictures on his phone I found this precious picture he took recently...

This is Augustine at our latest favorite hang out... The Open Window Theatre! Augustine even received the unofficial title of, Assistant Director by "daddy" when he ran to daddy and sat attentively watching rehearsal of, The Trial of Ebenezer Scrooge. He is pretty adored by actors and crew alike but he's pretty much a Mamma's boy. No matter how often he sits in "time out" or gets told "no" he still is so eager to give me a hug and cling  to my hand or legs. He is such a little sweet heart and I just love him so much!

My heart (and baby bump) is growing day by day with the precious gift that I carry. Knowing how much I love Augustine and knowing I have a gift just as wonderful within me makes carrying this new baby such a tremendous experience. With Augustine I didn't know what being a mother fully felt like until I held him in my arms. I seem to get it just as much with my new baby this time.

I can't wait to meet my little sweetheart! Today I was holding Augustine before digging into our St. Nick's stockings and as I held Augustine "little sweetheart" start kicking around and it was pretty awesome.

My two babies - how I love you!

Since Augustine got a 20s picture I will soon post about our 20 week ultra sound and the great reveal about whether we are having a boy or girl and maybe even an ultra sound picture! (Yes, we found out the sex and we are pretty darn excited! No surprise there!)

17 weeks and dreaming...

I have been having some really beautiful dreams about my little new growing baby and now that I feel baby kicking it is making the whole, "I'm pregnant thing" feel more real.

I just went to my 16 week pre-natal checkup on Monday and I've "gained 1lb" (with my winter coat on) since my last visit. My blood pressure went down quite a bit from last time, the nurse actually checked 2x since it seemed so low, in a good way. The baby's heartbeat was sweet music to this worrying mommy's ears and my measurements are right on for 16weeks. Excellent!

I have been feeling pretty good except that I got a nasty cold from my dear son. So much for the healthy bliss of my first pregnancy. And "hello" to the cold season. Ug.

The really exciting news is that on the eve of St. Nicholas Day (one of my favorite holidays!) we get to see our baby at the 20 week ultra sound AND (drum roll please....) find out if we have a baby boy or a baby girl!! I LOVE that part! I dream baby is a girl, I think girl, and I feel girl.... BUT when ever I want to out loud refer to baby I easily want to say, "he." Who knows but I am SUPER pumped either way.

Inspiration of Life!

I just had to give you a link to this blog. This woman writes about her personal struggle with pregnancy and suffering...

"For those of you who never heard of hyperemesis gravidarum, it is your normal morning sickness gone psycho. It is not limited to mornings or evenings or even the first two trimesters of pregnancy. It is non-stop nausea and vomiting and can result in serious dehydration and even hospitalization for some women. Most women who experience hyperemesis, like me, are prescribed antiemetics to control the vomiting and keep the symptoms at a manageable level. But even with medications the baseline level for women struggling with this condition is extreme fatigue and the feeling that you might lose your lunch at any moment. Nice.

...

I share this about my own struggles because the sicknesses I have endured to become a mother have taught me a lot about women seeking abortions. Before becoming pregnant, and thus very sick for the first time, I could not understand how a woman could ever feel so threatened by a growing baby as to want to “terminate” it. Just a few short weeks after my first positive pregnancy test, I remember feeling terrible about myself because the only thing I could think about and wanted was for things to go back to normal. I just wanted to feel good again and be free of this sickness. At the height of this pregnancy sickness and already 20 pounds down in less than 5 weeks, I remember thinking that I could actually understand a woman wanting an abortion. I got it. In my weakness I understood the temptation towards abortion for the first time ever in my life."

 I wanted to post this on my blog because her story rings so true and is so honest and true. I know for myself I had the same realization that she had about abortion when I was sick sick sick with my pregnancy with Augustine. I never have ever ever wanted an abortion but I understood for the first time why some woman give in to the "easy way out". She then goes on to talk about how the suffering you go through is like a Crucifixion. This is my body given up for you!

What a beautiful gift God has given to us woman to offer our bodies for a greater life giving purpose. I can say this so easily after now making it past the nausea of the first trimester. But there are a lot more sufferings to come and of those I am acutely aware of this time around. I am at 15weeks today and had entered, what I call, my headache phase. Ever since I was a child I suffered from awful migraines. I have somewhat grown out of them but at about 14 weeks pregnant I start to get endless throbbing headaches. It is so hard to rejoice in these struggles and pains but sometimes God gives me the grace to recognize in the moment what a gift my body is and how perfectly and wonderfully He has made me.

After my dear husband gave me a neck and back massage I have no throbbing headache today and I can rejoice again in no pain (for a little while). I can also rejoice in the fact that I seemed to have found the remedy for my headaches and a quite nice remedy at that!

Until I get to meet you, my little precious child, I am so honored to be offering my body up for you with agape love!

May your cross today (whatever it may be) help you to realize your greater purpose on earth to offer those sufferings up.

We always find that those who walked closest to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials.

            -St. Teresa of Avila

New Baby is 12 Weeks

So despite not having Internet I am attempting to write a post
using my iPhone. So much has been happening and I'm getting so far
behind.

When I was pregnant with Augustine I kept a journal from day one.
I love going back and reading it. Remembering... And now comparing...

Pregnancy 1 vs. Pregnancy 2:
Note) This is not intended for competition purposes between my oldest two children!

With Augustine I was sick morning day and night with no relief.
Food didn't help in fact it made it worse! I hardly remember eating anything! This time
around I've felt sick here and there
but I can at least eat and actually, eating usually calms my tummy. However, I lost
weight in the first trimester for both pregnancies. I think 5lbs with Augustine and 3lbs with baby #2. Even though I can eat this time around I've craved only healthy food. A few weeks ago on a work trip I hadn't eaten enough and was very sick. Jeremy, the dear husband he is, was willing to go out at midnight to find some food for me in little ol' St. Joseph, MO.

"What can I get you? Ice cream? Pickles?? Pizza?"

"I don't know nothing sounds good... Oh, well actually - Peppers!"

"Peppers?? Just peppers?"
(laughter from us both...)

"Sure, honey, I'm sure there is a farmers market around here..."
(If you had seen this little place in the middle of nowhere you would understand why we both erupted in laughter!)

So yeah, my main craving has been peppers, red peppers.

Thank goodness they've been in season!

I'm very thankful we are done with the first trimester (for obvious reasons for baby's sake) and I'm already starting to crave junk food, sweets, and candy! Bring on that baby bump and kicking feeling! (I truly love that part- mostly!)

Praise God for this healthy pregnancy and joy of new life!

Baby Stanbary, we love you SO much!

Looking forward to April 29th, 2012!

Let's see if you can guess why...

Our home will grow by two feet.

Our hearts will have grown immeasurably.

Our lives will never be the same and we can't wait!!!!!

Have you guessed it??

....

....

God is allowing Jeremy and I to participate in the greatest miracle, the creation of new LIFE and we couldn't be more honored!

Yes, the Stanbary family is welcoming A NEW BABY IN APRIL!!! We sure do love those April babies. I am absolutely ecstatic to be pregnant again and I have never taken my fertility for granted and I am so honored that God is seeing fit to give us such a wonderful gift!

I've never been one to want to wait until the miscarriage period is over to tell our exciting news, because no matter how long we have a life whether in the womb or out we are grateful for EVERY SINGLE DAY. Praise be to God we have never lost a baby (to our knowledge) or struggled with infertility but it doesn't make us any less grateful.

Being a mother is the most fulfilling thing I could ever do in my life and it is also the most delightful and satisfying gift.

Thank you for sharing in our joy!

In adoration the other day the Lord spoke to me and said, "Sarah I am breathing life into your baby." The beautiful image of God constantly thinking and breathing baby into life throughout my day brings me so much joy. This child is loved by us and by God and we can't wait for baby's arrival into our arms!

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." -God